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Wife and husband


Husband enters the house and greets his wife.
- Hello!
She is very angry:
- Hello? Is it the only thing you have to say? You left the house 3 days ago to buy bread.
- Damn! Bread! I will be right back.

- I'm just a Cinderella for you: I cook, I wash, I iron, I clean ...
- But did I not tell you that when you marry me you will live like a fairy tale.

A doctor gives advices to the patient:
- The situation is serious. You can only eat low fat foods without any sauces, the alcohol is forbidden. Cigarettes, too.
- Can I still make love?
- Yes but only with your wife. You shouldn’t get too excited.

After visiting the wife, a gynecologist spoke to her husband:
- Your wife is pregnant.
- Are you serious? We are always having a safe sex.
- You know, it is like in traffic. You are careful, others not.

Two friends at work are having a conversation:
- So, tell me, what did you do last night?
- Don't ask, a disaster. My husband came home from work, he had dinner in three minutes, we had sex for four minutes and the minute after he was already sleeping. What about you?
- Wonderful evening! My husband came home, he took me out for a romantic dinner, after we took a walk for an hour and when we came back home, he switched on candles, we had one hour of petting, then half an hour of fantastic sex and an entire hour conversation. Everything was perfect!

In the meanwhile, in another place, two friends are having a conversation:
- How was your evening?
- Great! I come back home, the dinner was already on the table, I ate, I had a quickie and I fall asleep. What about you?
- Absolute disaster. I went home after work and there was no light because I forgot to pay the bill, so I took out my wife for the dinner. The dinner was one of those where you pay a lot and you don't eat nothing, but everything is very arty, so, at the end of the night I didn't have money to pay a taxi and we walked for an hour to get home. When we arrived obviously there was no light and I started to look for candles, I switched them on. I needed one hour to have an erection, and we had half hour sex because I was so angry and frustrated that I couldn't come. After, I couldn't even sleep so we had an hour conversation. As I told you buddy, it was a disaster!

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