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An elderly priest talks to his assistant:
- Mark, do you know that yesterday somebody stole my bike? I don't know what to do about it.
- Father, I would suggest that you do this: during Sunday Mass you speak of the Ten Commandments and when you arrive at that "do not steal", raise your voice strongly. I will watch people and the one who gets the most upseted is probably the man who stole his bike.
So Sunday came and the priest went over the ten commandments, but when he got to the one that forbids stealing he didn't raise his voice, as Mark expected. After mass, the assistant approaches the priest and asks him:
- But father, why, while you were saying not to steal, did you not shout, how did we agree?
- You know Mark, there was no need. When I got to the one "do not commit adultery", I remembered where I left my bicycle.


A famous actress of the film dedicated to adults goes to the church to make her own confession to the priest. She tells him her sins, related mainly to her world of work. The priest listens carefully and after a while his breathing becomes labored. "You are a priest" - he was telling himself - "you have to resist to the temptation". The actress realizes that the priest was excited and she begins to feel that way too. Her story becomes even more hard, more detailed and she begins to unbutton her shirt. The priest sees what happens and start to sweat heavily. "You are a priest, you must resist" - he continues to encourage himself. In the meanwhile, the woman took off her bra, skirt and her underpants. Turned on, she was starting to get nervous because the priest did not pass to the action. So she leaves the confessional. The man follows her. She sits on the altar, raises a leg and starts to touch herself, all in front of the priest who was getting crazy. He looks up to the top and looks at the statue of the Jesus.
- Jesus, help me. Tell me what to do.
- Take me away from the cross! Take me away from the cross!


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