One-liner jokesOnly one line for your smile!
Scientists have found that vaccines help those who make them the most.
One is knitting, the other takes drugs and yet another gets vaccinated. Therefore it can be said that the needle reassures.
Resign yourself, you can't make everyone happy: you're not a whiskey.
One woman drove so badly that the navigator's voice said: stop in 50 m, I want to go out.
I had a regular sex life until I broke my arm.
There are two words that will open all doors in your life: push and pull.
In my mother's eyes, I am the most beautiful man in the world. Too bad the girls don't have my mother's diopter.
I refuse to learn how to use a washing machine because its concept is racist: white clothes must be divided by colored ones.
I told you that I will arrive in 5 minutes. Why do you call me every half hour?
Everyone, when make love spend about 300 calories. I spend 50 dollars.
My brain tells me: get out of bed and do something useful today. My body tells me; don't listen the idiot.
If someone hurts you, you give him a cookie. He hurts you and you give him a cookie again. And so, for every evil he makes, you give him a cookie until diabetes comes to the bastard.
Love is when the young man marries the girl and she is not pregnant.
If one dislikes me, I lend him the money and so I will never see him again.
It is better to leave your children with debts than with money: they will remember you longer.
When all your ships sink, proclaim them submarines and go on.
The meaning of the war is not to die for own country, but to force the one on the other side to die for his country.
The mirror is your best friend. It will never laugh at you while you cry.
According to Santa Claus statistics, one of two wives desire to know the password of the husband.
The oxygen was discovered in 1774. It hasn't been unveiled yet how the people was able to breathe before it.
If the husband opens the car door to his wife or he has a new car or the new wife.
There are women who claim that all men are equal. Isn't this a little too much experience?
The woman wants to live the love that has the length of a novel, the man, a story.
I change the roommate who snores for a roommate who sighs.
Cheating = two wrong people who do the right thing.
When the man sees the woman, he becomes the hunter. When he seduces her, he becomes the spoil.
Make love, no war. You can make both of this – get married.
Newton is a liar. Easy girls "fall faster".
Women are like wine – older they became, and they are more like a barrel.
Love is blind. That's why people in love touch themselves so much.
She was a good girl and everybody loved her, some, even more than once.
The good fairy has granted my two wishes. The third time I was not able.
When girls wear miniskirts, the boys become shy: their eyes are constantly lowered.
The marriage is what comes after life and before death.
Miners, paratroopers and virgins made mistake only once.
Kiss the children of your wife, maybe someone is yours!
I wish the women brain, it will be really relaxing!