The best jokes
A lady enters a restaurant, is accompanied to a table near the window with a spectacular view. She tells the waiter:
- Would you be so kind to turn on the air conditioner; you know, I'm so hot.
- No problem, it will be done.
After 20 minutes, the lady calls the waiter again and asks:
- Please, could you turn off the air conditioner because it's too cold now.
- I'll turn it off, lady.
After half an hour the lady calls the waiter and asks that the air conditioner be switched on again, because it has started to get hot again. The waiter accepts the request with a big smile. Another guest, sitting a few meters from the lady, follows the whole scene with so much interest. Call the waiter and tell him:
- But why you allow to be kidding by this lady: turn on, turn off, turn on...
- But I'm the one who has fun: we don't have the air conditioner.
- And the woman takes her husband's finger while he slept and unprotects his cell phone.
In front of the door of the hell 90 women expect in the queue. At one point the devil opens the door, comes out and says:
Once, when guests came, they asked:
Two tourists visit Rome and stand in front of the Colosseum.
- What is the traditional Chinese diet?
A wife scolds her husband.
I decided to change my habits, let go of social media and try to make friends with people outside of Facebook, but applying the same principle. Every day I walk down the street and tell the people I meet what I ate, how I feel, what I did the night before and what I think I will do tomorrow. Also, I show photos of my girlfriend, my dog and my photo in the pool. Sometimes I approach people, listen what they say and tell them "I love you". I must tell you that it works well. I already have 4 people following me: three policemen and a psychiatrist.
On the entrance to a church there is a large inscription:
- What do girls need to know before entering into a relationship with an older male?
- My son, did you get drunk?
- It is not shameful to come home drunk. It is shameful when you understand that the house is not yours.
- As long as there were no social networks, only the family knew that you are not normal.
A gentleman sees a young girl in the street. He approaches her and says: