- Dad, how can the ship float on the water?
- I don't know.
- And how does the plane fly?
- I don't know.
- How can we see the images on TV?
- I really don't know.
- Dad, do you get angry if I ask you all these questions?
- No. How can you learn if you don't ask?
A man comes to the doctor and complains:
- Doctor, I breath with difficulty and cough a lot.
- Are you a smoker?
- Yes I am but it doesn't help me.
Two friends are having a conversation:
- My company is looking for a cashier.
- I thought you hired one guy two weeks ago.
- Yes we have and now we are looking for him.
Mother scolds her daughter:
- Look at this generation. You are only 15 and every night you're out with a different guy. And yesterday you forgot my thirtieth birthday.
A blonde girl is walking down the street. One of her boob is out of her shirt. A policeman sees her and says:
- Miss, you know I can fine you for your inappropriate behavior?
- Because you are showing everyone your boob!
- Oh God, I forgot the baby on the bus!
A boy and a girl are in a bar, having a coffee. He:
- You are the most beautiful and the most handsome girl I've ever met.
- Come on; you are talking like this only to take me to the bad.
- And you're smart, too.
After a week of hard work, a truck driver arrives in a whorehouse, puts on the owner's table 1000 dollars, and says:
-I want the ugliest girl you have and the cold spaghetti from last night!
- But, sir, for all this money you can have the most beautiful girl and a good, hot piece of a meat.
-I'm not here for the sex, I miss home.
Sam informed the mother that he took a bad mark in English.
- What you have wrote?
Sam pulls out his notebook and begins to read:
- One day I go to school and I see in front of me a piece of shit. The shit is green, it must be Marco's, he likes the vegetables a lot. I continue my walk to school and after a while I see another shit. This one is dark brown, certainly it belongs to Simon because he loves to eat dark chocolate. I continue the walk finding another piece of shit but this time it was really big. It is definitely John's; he is fat and eat a lot.
- All right but tell me, what was the topic of the story?
- You recognize a true friend in the needs.
Husband to wife:
- Pass me the golf's socks.
- Which are the golf's socks?
- Those with 9 holes.
A couple is in bed making love. He asks:
- Listen, what if I put it in your ear?
- Are you crazy? I could become deaf.
- If until today you didn't become dumb I don't think you will become deaf.
A blonde calls the police:
- You have to come immediately, my car has just been stolen in front of my house.
- Did you see the thief?
- No but I wrote down the license plate number.
A couple is in bed, smoking after sex. He:
- According to what I saw and I felt tonight, I'm not the first.
- Of course not, and according to what I felt, you're not even the last.
A policeman stops a blonde.
- You are fined 50 dollars for the blinker that doesn't work.
- Great! The garage wanted to charge me 120.
A girl come to her boyfriend's apartment and he starts immediately to undress her.
- Stop, I just have been to the gynecologist and he banned me sex for the next 3 months.
- And what did your dentist say?
A couple is making sex. Suddenly the man stops, and he acting as he was frozen. The partner looked at him astonished and asks:
- Are you normal, what are you doing?
- My dear, this is the new trend from porno movies on Internet - it's called buffering.